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I grew up with a mother who told me I was amazing, who said I could accomplish whatever I wanted to. But when I was a teenager, she also started saying, “You need to lose weight.
I had a few boyfriends every summer, and when I got really thin, I suddenly had a boyfriend back at school, too. After that it was back to the old way, and I didn’t have a boyfriend anymore. I was always overweight, but when I got to Vassar I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome.
” Friends of mine were setting one another up on dates but not me.
It makes such an obvious statement—that no one would ever find me attractive because of my weight.
I guess it’s hard to say to somebody, “I have a great girl for you, but she’s fat—are you okay with that? People are image-conscious, and it takes a very secure man to advertise his preference for a woman of size.
I didn’t gain a freshman 15, I gained a freshman 50.
Then my dad died when I was 22 and I wasn’t interested in anything anymore. It wasn’t until I was 28 that I decided I wanted to date again, after I got back in touch with people from camp.
Some of them were very heavy, but they were married and successful in relationships. I started out on Jdate but worried that maybe people didn’t fully see my body type, even though I never lied or showed a picture that wasn’t me.
Some jerk once IMed and asked, “Are there really guys out there who are attracted to you?
In light of yesterday’s controversial piece by Maura Kelly, I’m posting a story by Jennifer Abramowitz (as told to me), an amazing plus-size woman who recently spoke openly to me about her experience dating in New York City.
This piece was bought by a national women’s magazine, then killed, and I think now is the time to post it. I’m also a publicist, an extrovert, a bargain-shopper extraordinaire and an unbelievably good friend.
*** I was on a date recently and a woman sat down at the next table, catty-corner to me. But what’s most visible about me, what defines me before I even open my mouth, is my size.
I was embarrassed and annoyed, already contemplating how I was going to get out at the end. I’ve dieted my whole life and can’t remember a time when I wasn’t concerned about my weight.