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In 2009, I told my wife that I was going to marry her. A few weeks later, I convinced her to take a chance. We went to one of those fancy restaurants where you cook your own food over an open flame, followed up by a night of ice skating (which we could barely do), and capped the evening with dessert and a few hours of good conversation.Now as many of you know, I’ve been married for almost 5 years now.
So what are some powerful tips, thoughts, or “must do’s” while you’re dating?And what things will hopefully help close the deal… Get Raw Details Early On It can take some time to find your soul mate. Ask the important questions within the first 3 dates.This could mean many dates with multiple people over a few years. Religion, kids, where you want to live, dreams, career, politics, etc.If you can get this section right, everything else will be clockwork. Be More Modest Than You Think You Should Be If you marry this person, you’ll have a lifetime of nakedness, flirting, mooning, and maybe some inappropriate flashing. Be Exactly Who You Are Sure, wear your best, smell like flowers and leather, but be yourself.But don’t give up all of this fun while you’re dating. Don’t sell a better, more organized, more thoughtful, more skanky, more wealthy version of yourself. I promise it’s enough and if your partner is captivated by the real you, there is nothing better. Go Somewhere Awesome With a Married Couple Around date number 10, plan a trip or daycation with a married couple (without kids).You might call me prude, but I think it’s just smart. Watch their mannerisms and the way they talk to each other.
Ask them about their dating life and what they would have done differently.
There is no better way to understand marriage than seeing it with your own eyes. Write Them a Future Spouse Letter If this person is possibly “the one,” write them a future spouse letter.
Tell them how you feel (now), what you’re excited about and what you hope life will look like in 10 years.
And if you do tie the knot, give it to them on your honeymoon.
Even if the facts change, the thought will make their brain explode. Take Your Time, But Don’t Be An Idiot Everything you need to learn in order to make the “can I marry this person” decision occurs within one year.
Sure, you will not know everything about them, but you’ll know enough. People have been dating and marrying in less than a year for thousands of years. Prepare to Mourn Your Singleness (Important) Anytime there is loss there is a need for mourning.