Dating after the death of your spouse

22-Oct-2015 07:24 by 6 Comments

Dating after the death of your spouse

It's hard to accept your father dating another, especially when you are still grieving for your mother.

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In brief below are 10 suggestions for "Coping with Grief" by the Counseling Center at Western Washington University (2006): COPING WITH GRIEF1. The only way to deal with death, no matter how painful that might be, is to accept it, not fight it. Letting go takes place when the "we" becomes "I," when we are able to substitute the memories of the deceased for their physical presence and when we are able to change patterns in our lives and in our environment. It is important that the bereaved be patient with himself or herself and gradually learn to make decisions as a way to sustain their sense of self-worth.

I thought a spouse was supposed to be in mourning for at least a year before dating again?

Dee, My mother passed away after a long illness three months ago, and my father started dating already.

Signed, Hurt & Angry Dear Hurt & Angry, We are very sorry about your mother's death.

Each person experiences grief in their own way and the length of the mourning period varies for different people, cultures, and religions.

Letting go occurs when we are able to endure and accept the feelings - anger, guilt, fear, sadness, depression, etc. Making decisions about our lives helps us gain some control over it and increases our self-confidence.4. When you are grieving, you might need someone who looks backward, because the past, not the future, remains the source of comfort in the early stages of grief.

Sharing our memories and feelings with people who are grieving themselves is especially helpful and therapeutic.5. For many people, religion - with its rituals, the promise of an afterlife and its community support - offers a comforting and strengthening base in the lonely encounter with helplessness and hopelessness.

Our faith does not take away our grief but helps us live with it.6. The feeling of guilt and the need for forgiveness accompanies many of our experiences, especially those that have remained unfinished.

We might feel guilty about what we did or didn't do, about the clues we missed, about the things we said or failed to say.

We need to accept our imperfections and make peace with ourselves.7. We learn to be happy by the way we adjust to life-crises and use the opportunities life gives us.

We need to be patient and give ourselves time to learn and time to make mistakes.

The death of a loved one affects our life-style and changes our self-image.

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